Forever 12 in Her Eyes

I'm not going to tell you how to rid yourself of it because nearly two decades later I can hardly walk out of my house enclosure without being asked where I'm going. It's pathetic really, but I'm hopeless. I simply need some form of assistance. I ask for permission for everything! Going out with friends, going to the shop which is just around the corner. I'm basically asking for permission to use the loo! The only time I'm allowed to leave the house is when I'm off to college, and even then I'm asked when I'll be back. She's the worst or should I say best at her craft? The deal sweetener is that thee whole family is in on it, so do I really have any chance?

It's plain exasperating. I've never really been allowed out, and for those like me, if any, I frankly enjoy my company, no, not because I have no choice but to, but because I'm awesome and never bore myself. The most recent discovery is that I'm turning out to be a fine liar, like I have a choice! Nothing and anyone is ever good enough so I have to resort to telling them what they want to hear just to get away from my glorified prison. I always get dumbfounded when asked when my curfew is, smh what curfew? I don't have one since I'm always indoors like a good little girl, so I'm afraid we haven't gotten to that part yet.

Whatever this is, strict, overly protective or plain evil, is said to stop. The deadline was supposed to be at the mark of my 18th birthday but that was years ago, it's like procrastinating to do an assignment, just that this is my life, future, result being doom or bloom.

I figure it'll be doom as I barely have a social life out of the confines of the internet, and yes it is arguable since in person and through a medium are two distinct options. How did it get this far? I'm not sure. It's always been obedience and respect and just being too understanding. Never asked for too much, put myself in everyone's shoes and tried not make situations more problematic by being an unruly child. I have since lost perspective from people's shoes because little did I know that doing all this would get this close to ruining my prime. "ruin" that's a bit too much, I mean it really isn't too bad...Oh My! There I go again. I still wonder what the reason to this is though, is it lack of trust in my resourcefulness?

My ability to care for myself in the "bad big world"? Or lack of assurance in what they've instilled in me throughout my entire life? Well i beseech upon the end of whatever it is, obedient and respectful youths should be, if anything, be given all the trust and taken of the leash.