Relationships — We are in for something ~ The Reflection.

Relationships are more than just saying I love you, they go beyond taking of selfies and keeping up with public appearances. There is a deeper connection that goes beyond satisfying personal needs. A relationship is freely, willingly allowing yourself to put someone before yourself, allowing yourself to be emotionally, physically, and spiritually naked towards a person. It’s more than money; it can never be compared to any movie, no matter how close the love life is to that of your favorite movie. You see, in movies everything is exaggerated to an extent, hence you’ll end up saying, ‘life is not a movie and love is not a fairytale.'

Now, why do people get into relationships? Are we all in it for something? The answer is yes. We all are, I mean everything happens for a reason right? Normally people tend to generalize or view why others are in relationships. They come to a conclusion that some are in it for money, let’s break it down;

Money in relationships; I mean hello!! Any man would be a fool to appreciate the beauty of a woman he doesn’t maintain, not because she can’t maintain herself but because you water a plant you love, you take your car for a maintenance even when you see no problem with it. That same way we take care of our spouses. Not because they can’t but because we love and appreciate them.

Sex; is it worth being called a benefit or a reason to stay in a relationship? That is laughable, to me at least. I can imagine, staying because you are being tickled the right way, for a climax? Really? But unfortunately it is happening, ladies and gentlemen are at it. Even though it may be a reason to stay for some people, it is never, unlike money, the root cause of staying in a relationship. In my research of finding out why they are in relationships, many people expressed their own feelings to the matter.

Vino (25) a young lady from Letlhabile said she is in a relationship for a companionship, she wants a partner, someone to grow with, “Yes I can achieve my dreams alone but I believe that as a born again Christian I’m going have sex so I wouldn’t want to run around having sex with many men, so if I’m in a relationship I’m working on a long term thing until we end up getting married so that I know I sleep with one partner. Yes I have a child out of wed love but I don’t want anymore until I’m married, I want companionship, growth and stability.”

A young man (21) named Boitshoko from Mabopane says he is in a relationship because he wants a partner in which he can see his own reflection in. Another lady 25 years old says that she is just there for love, for there is nothing as beautiful as loving where you are loved. She said that she loves and she is loved back. She believes that love keeps everything together, whether there's no money or sex as long the love is there.

Veli, a 25 years old says that he is in a relationship because he wants to get married. He says you start the future now, "I don't believe in dating to know a person, yes you do still get to know the person because there's things that you will discover as time goes, but for me, I was friends with my girlfriend before dating. So whether we are compatible or not was done at that stage of just being friends so the time we made things official we had a goal in mind."

Now bare with me as I share what it is that keeps people in relationships. As you read on you must notice that people almost share the same sentiments about being in relationships but also are things that sets them apart and highlights their uniqueness.

Emmanuel (34) takes us back to the Bible, he says we are in a relationship to fulfill the Will of God and that is the point we are in it for something. "I believe it is important to have someone to share with openly as this person will know you in and out that even your parents can. To love and be loved. To have happiness together with your partner. To achieve better goals because two are better than one in planning and implementing."

Bakang, a 23 years old young lady says that she is in a relationship because of feelings, she can't be in a relationship with someone she feels nothing for, she says she is in a relationship to satisfy her feelings and desires. She says also that to some people relationships are like a game but in her case is different, she is learning to trust someone, and gambling with her feelings. Another young man says he was in a relationship because he needed a helper, someone who will help him to build an empire. Someone to tell him what he is good at and what he should stick to. Someone to make him think better of himself and assure him of a brighter future.

Cate (25) says that to her, relationships is more like a friendship, "Your partner should be your best friend. One should not be in a relationship with someone who's afraid of or not completely comfortable with, you're in their life. Both partners should be selfless towards each other regardless of the situation they might be in. The feeling and the love should be mutual - not one sided, otherwise it is no longer a relationship. One other thing that I've learned is that it's not about doing what you don't love, it's about doing it with the one you love."

With all that has been said about relationships, it is safe to say that the foundation of most relationships is love and friendship. It is not always about the benefits that comes with being in a relationship. People want love, they want companionship, they want to be guided by their loved ones in the journey of life. Everyone was given a chance to say their part and me; well I'm also in it for something. I'm in it to find love also I'm in a relationship because I want someone who will supplement my weaknesses, someone who will be my partner in everything I do, a person to look at and feel that indeed God thought of me when this man came to life. I want a person who is a reflection of who I want to become. All these combined with love and compromise is a relationship; I could have all of that and forget that there are people who are in it for the materials.

Some people are not in relationship to benefit but to gain something. Although money, sex and/or status may be some of the most recognized reasons for people to remain in relationships there are other factors such as religions, the way a person was raised and the environment in which they were raised. Things such as the friends you keep, the pressure to fit in. These are but a few of the reasons why some people find themselves in relationships.

Now is there no difference between a benefit and a gain? If you look at it, a relationship on its own is a partnership and it has to give fruits to the people involved. There's no I and no selfishness involved. You supplement each other's weaknesses and embrace each other's flaws. That is how we are in it for something.